Each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. “In your anger do not sin.” Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:25-32)
I am currently teaching on “The Tongue” at Christ Presbyterian Church in Houston. Here are some excerpts that I’ve used in counseling and prison ministry.
A Slip of the Tongue
In July 2020, a “slip of the tongue” by an air traffic controller almost caused two planes to crash into each other. The air traffic controller in Paris, France intended to give clearance for one plane to land on runway 09L and another to take off from runway 09R. Due to a slip of the tongue, the controller gave clearance for the first plane to land on 09R, instead of 09L. He didn’t have direct line-of-sight access to runway 09R because of an equipment malfunction. When the error was discovered, the first plane was ordered to abort the landing and ascend, but by the time it started to abort, the two planes were only 300 feet apart!1 The story reminds us that even in everyday situations, our words have tremendous power to heal or hurt, to build up other people or destroy them. Being careless with our tongues is toying with tragedy.
Not Grieving the Spirit
The Bible talks much about tongue control and using extreme carefulness about what we say. Ephesians 4:30 says: “Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.” Taken in connection with the surrounding verses, it means that unhelpful talk saddens the Spirit. He is the Holy Spirit and anything in Jesus’ followers that is not holy is revolting to Him. Ephesians 1:13 says: “You were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in Jesus with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit.” God seals His people, protecting us from condemnation and guaranteeing that God owns His believers forever. And we will come to possess our future inheritance when Jesus returns. The presence of the Holy Spirit in believers assures us that we will receive all that Christ has accomplished for us. Our eternal security in Jesus does not encourage us to sin casually, but the Spirit in us gives us power and motivation to sin less, especially with our words.
The Holy Spirit transforms Jesus’ followers into His image with ever-increasing glory.2 When we do stumble, the Spirit restores us over and over, removing our hardheartedness and spiritual blindness. The Holy Spirit helps us to confess and forsake our sin and receive God’s mercy again and again and to abound in His fruit.3
Putting Off and Putting On
In class, I outlined Ephesians 4:25-32 like this:
| Put Off Works of the Flesh | Put On the Fruit of the Spirit |
| Falsehood (lies, deceiving, fraud) | Speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. |
| Sinful anger, grudge-holding, giving the devil a foothold | Be kind and compassionate, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. |
| Stealing (in any way) | Work, be useful, share with those in need. |
| Unwholesome talk | Speak only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs. Benefit and bless listeners. |
| Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. | Be kind and compassionate, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. |
These items are self-explanatory, but I will come back to some detailed observations in future posts. Ephesians 4:29 says: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” It means that we are to avoid talking that is superficial, empty, idle, and worthless to others. Paul deals with obscene and filthy language in 5:4 so here God calls us to put off profitless speech and put on constructive conversation. Our speech should be: Edifying (building up others), Appropriate (suitable for time and place), and Gracious.
Living for Christ Now
Remember, the whole Bible, the Proverbs, and the New Testament Epistles are not mostly about just going to Heaven at the end of our life. Scripture teaches that God saves us for living to please Him now, here on earth, in between Jesus’ 1st and 2nd comings.
The Holy Spirit helps us to live like children of God our Heavenly Father; how to hallow (honor) His name; how to advance His kingdom; how to do His will on earth; how to work for our daily bread and share with others; how to receive God’s forgiveness and extend the same to others; how to flee temptation and resist the evil one. We can pray “The Lord’s Prayer” just as it is and use it as a model for our prayers along with other model prayers in Scripture. It can also remind us of our Christian duties as Jesus’ followers. The Lord’s Prayer summarizes lots of Christ’s teaching.
St. Ambrose
Ambrose of Milan (339–397 AD) was a theologian and statesman who defended biblical Christianity against false teachers. His preaching, actions, writings, and hymns made him a very influential man. But he was a practical Christian too, eager to love God and love his neighbors. Ambrose wrote: It is easier to look wise than to talk wisely….A bird is known by its song, a person by their talk….A sharp tongue is no evidence of a keen mind….Actions don’t always speak louder than words. Our tongue can undo everything we do….When we are alone, let’s guard our thoughts. When we are with others, let’s guard our tongues.
Prayer: Father, You are the God of love. Make us more and more like you. Keep us from unwholesome talk and help us to speak only what is loving and helpful for building others up according to their needs. Help us to bless and benefit those we speak to. Make our words edifying, encouraging, and comforting to others. Help us to glorify You in our speech.22 Amen.
To be continued. You can read Think Before Speaking.
Notes (various Bible translations used): 1 Jack Guy, “Air traffic controller’s ‘slip of the tongue’ nearly causes plane crash,” CNN (7-20-21). 2 2 Cor 3:18. 3 Prov 28:13.